Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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