I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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