Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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