Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
