tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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