Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
