jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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