Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
