I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
