that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
