the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
