Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
