the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
