No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
