On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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