I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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