..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
