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Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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