so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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