Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
