Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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