We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
