She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize