i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
