even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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