my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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