i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
