Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
