I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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