Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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