You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
