Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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