I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A+ Viking dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
