You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize