I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
