you guys were way drunker than both of me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
