Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
