Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
