Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
