John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
