I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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