I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
