Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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