i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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