just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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