he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
