What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
