You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
too bad you live with your parents still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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