this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
