Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we made out on top of his cat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize