We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
