i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
