He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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