So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
