He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
