I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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