All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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