I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
