Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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