I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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