im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
