no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
