sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
