I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
