Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
