Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize