we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
