she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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